Many parents worry about whether they’re giving their children enough extra-curricular experiences. But kids need downtime too. It’s all about finding a balance that’s right for your child.
What is overstimulation?
Overstimulation happens when a child is overwhelmed by too many experiences, sensations, noise and activity.
A newborn might get very unsettled after a party where he’s been cuddled by several unfamiliar adults. A preschooler might have a tantrum after a big event like a birthday party. A school-age child might be cranky if he goes to school, then after-school care, and then a swimming lesson.
When children feel overstimulated, they need quiet time and a familiar, calm environment in order to unwind.
Signs of overstimulation:
Overstimulated babies might become irritable or tired. They will often turn their heads away and their movements might become jerky (clenched fists, waving arms, kicking).
Young children who are overstimulated get irritable and tired too. Behaviour problems can also crop up, such as unwillingness to cooperate or purposely breaking rules.
Balancing fun time and quiet time:
Children’s brains grow very fast, so they need lots of learning opportunities. They’re constantly learning, taking in all the experiences their environments have to offer.
However, this doesn’t mean you need to spend all day every day dangling toys in front of your baby, or that you have to rush your child from school to extracurricular activities every day of the week. Children of all ages need quiet time where they do not need to be following instructions are trying to achieve.
Your child will benefit from quietly entertaining herself, an important life skill. By encouraging it, you help your child to become an independent adult who better understands her own feelings and how to deal with them.
Handling overstimulation:
When you see that your baby is overwhelmed, take her to a quieter, dimmer environment. If you’re out with your baby, you can put her in the stroller and cover it with a light blanket.
If you start to suspect that your toddler or preschooler is getting overstimulated, you can reduce the noise and activity in his environment. For example, turn off the TV, take him to his bedroom, or let him spend time near you if he needs to be close to you to calm down. You can sit quietly with him, read him a story, lie down with him, or just stroke his back. When he’s calm, give him some time to play by himself.
It may also be helpful to put your child’s feelings into words. For example you could say, ‘I can see that you’re upset’ or ‘I can see that you’re feeling overwhelmed’ so that she may be able to better express her own feelings in the future (another valuable life skill).
When children get to be school-aged, they can start to calm themselves down. You can gently suggest to your child that he go to a quiet place if he’s tired or cranky from too much activity.
Finding the right amount of stimulation:
There’s no one ‘right’ amount of stimulation for children because every child is different. Each child has a different tolerance for excitement. Some children cope with stimulating environments better than others. Let your child be the guide.
For babies and young children, it’s a good idea to give your child some time each day to spend quietly playing or resting, apart from sleep time. As for your school-age child, he will probably benefit most from one or two extracurricular activities that she’s really interested in.
Modern family life is hectic, there’s no doubt about that. In our family, there are evenings when we have a quick dinner after homework and before dashing off to someone’s karate class or hockey practice. I try to balance those hectic evenings with a less-hectic evening soon after, even if it means missing out on another planned activity. Do you have any strategies to share? How do you keep your kids from getting overwhelmed and overstimulated?
